I just pynch a tree in the face
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
