i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
