if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
