the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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