thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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