I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
