so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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