Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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