I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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