All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
