Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
