While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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