I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
