No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
