Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
