i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
