Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
nutella sex= disaster
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
