Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
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