I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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