True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
