Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Two words: nipple clamps
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