He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
