dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
