wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
