Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
