the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
