im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
