you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
