Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
