If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
