She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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