im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
