I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
