maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
