I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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