RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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