all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
