remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
