no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
