hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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