is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
