dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
