one two three fourrrrnication!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
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