I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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