Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How does one acquire holy water?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
