Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
