i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
two words: eviction party
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
