Heybabeimwearingurpanties
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
