My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
