and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
