We're like a lot better than the average bears
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
