id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
