Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
