I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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