i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
